Spilled Ink: Creepy Fireworks Safety Pamphlet!

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Creepy Fireworks Safety Pamphlet!

Our town has issues with people bringing up fireworks from Mexico and setting them off in their backyards. So those of use who buy the legal fireworks that stay on the ground have to read these creepy pamphlets about not setting yourself on fire. :P

So without further ado, I'm going to make fun of it! XD!

Celebrate Safely! This Square-Jawed Champion of the Government's Caring Justice (never mind that he's extremely white and he's bossing around this minority-looking family!) shall be here to assist you ALL through your State Approved celebration! And when I say State Approved celebration, I mean that in the most literal of senses. Because, erm...

Looks kind of like a donut box, I hope that no drunk relatives try to
eat fireworks tonight!

Yeah. State Approved Fireworks. To go with your State Approved Beer, and your State Approved Hamburgers to be eaten and enjoyed by your State Approved Friends!

NOM NOM NOM!!!

And you'd better behave this 4th of July! Because Aryan Authority Figure Man is always watching. And he is ready and prepared (even EAGER!) to use his big muscles to discipline any n'er do wells who dare to do something that isn't State Approved!